a life of my own

My life is complicated. Nobody knws hw hard it is to be me except god hearing all my pain,prayers, n winings... my life smtimes hve this ligth tat shines within me. bt smtimes my life as if its started to rain with tears and sorrows and my shine just fade awayy..

my mom raised me alone with no help of a husband by her side to comfort and calm her whenever she gets lonely or sad. i knw hw trajic it is raising three children alone. and smtimes when im alone, i will always cry when i just thinking about it. my parents divorce when i couldn't even remember yet. i guess smtimes life isn't a happy ending after all.but i wouldn't ever think of blaming one of my parents of their own mistakes and divorce.but yet, i still love them no matter what. and my dad.. his just the kind of guy that is sweet,kind and lost at the same time. he had made bad desitions and didn't think carefully before he acts.I think he trusted his friends more than he trusted his family. i knw he will always think about us when his all alone in his empty old flatt. and i knw hw he teribly misses us when we didn't even call him for a long time.i will always love to take advantage towords my parents to get things tat i like and they give me everythng without asking me to pay them back and yet i still didn't feel that im satisfying thier needs of becoming a better daughter. im a terrible person. im sinking in this horrifying eeraa. im becoming a Monster!

i find myself alone in this cruel little world. in this world, theres no bad or gud people... infact just an ordinary human living their life and decides wheter to choose to be gud or a bad person. and my life is in between two of that undecideble things..